What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

When did you realize that your childhood was not normal?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Has anyone been tricked into having sex with a shemale? How was the experience?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Should Pete Rose's record as the all-time hits leader be recognized and celebrated?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What was the weakest period in US history in terms of military strength? Was it during World War II or the Vietnam War?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why do heterosexual men like anal sex with women? I think it's because they secretly want to have anal sex with a man? What do you think?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me. Why?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

How do you view men and women who cheat?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What is your most intimate experience with your best friend?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

TEXT:

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Jessica Hecht says she was in the running for Monica on 'Friends' but didn't fit physically - Entertainment Weekly

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Are Indian girls awesome in bed? Do they taste different than our American girls? Does anyone has experience with both American and Indian girls?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.